Redeemed Woman

Reflections on Genesis 2:24

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

Genesis 2:24 (ESV)

According to Jesus (Matthew 19:6), oneness in marriage is something that God purposed and designed. Adam primitively understood about this oneness and said in Genesis 2:23, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Adam didn’t have parents but Genesis 2:24 pointed to what this oneness will mean to the coming generations. The man must leave his parents, and it is the man who must hold fast to his wife. These actions are both the end and means by which oneness is fully achieved in marriage.

The “leaving” found in Genesis 2:24 is a verb that carries profound implications beyond just physical separation. Likewise, the “holding” implies more than just physical intimacy. In reality, there are three internal changes that must happen within your husband resulting in him leaving his father and his mother. I believe that by understanding these changes, you can help your husband not only “leave his father and his mother” but “hold fast” to you as his wife.

Putting childish ways behind him

When a man matures from his station as a child he is leaving his father and his mother. Though he will always be his parent’s son, he is now taking on the higher calling of a man. A child follows; a man leads. A child receives provisions from his parents; a man provides. A child receives protection from his parents; a man protects. As your husband grows into his manhood, childish ways will naturally fade away.

One very important thing that you can do is learn to be a good follower (Ephesians 5:22). When important decisions need to be made, ask to give your opinions without casting doubt on him as your leader. Tell him that you will trust him to make the best decision for your family. Let your husband carry the leadership burden and trust that God has your back. There may be times when he may not want your opinions. Those are opportunities for you to react to his decisions with your faith in God (1 Peter 3:1-6).

Changing his first priority

When a man makes his responsibilities as a husband his priority, he is leaving his father and his mother. Simply, his wife’s need for protection, provision, and love is not the responsibility of his parents nor any longer the responsibility of her parents but his priority. This does not mean, however, that he is leaving behind his responsibilities as a son. If his parents shall need his help, he and his wife must do what they can since God’s word says to honor your parents (Ephesians 6:1-3).

As his wife, you can help him prioritize his role as a husband by making it known to him and your whole world that he is your number one. Stop calling your parents for what you need. Stop making the first phone call to “talk it through” to someone other than your husband. Always let people know you would like to run things through your husband before committing, even when you know you do not have to. Almost never accept help from other men. (If your husband can’t fix the water leak, then he can call the plumber.)

Furthermore, give him lots of room to do all the manly things he needs to do for you, like lead, protect, and provide. Do not misunderstand me here. I’m saying to let your husband meet all your needs, not that you should become needy or weak. Let him take pride in being your husband, and he will surely hold fast to you.

Needing his wife first

When a man’s wife becomes the most important person in his life, he is leaving his father and his mother. His wife is the perfect helper who can fulfill his needs as a man (Genesis 2:18). She is united with him physically, spiritually, and emotionally. She is his encourager, co-laborer, and counselor. Father, mother, siblings, and friends become mere secondary players in his life. He holds fast to his wife because she is now the one who will help build his life.

As his wife, make yourself available for him. If you are unsure of what to do or what he needs, ask him and follow through. Nurture his strengths and help him with his weaknesses. You are his teammate, not his opponent or competition. Life is full of battles. When he feels that you are fighting with him and not against him, this will help him hold fast to you.

One thing is for sure, ladies. Having a petty and quarrelsome attitude will drive our husbands away (Proverbs 19:13; Proverbs 21:9; Proverbs 25:24; Proverbs 27:15). He may leave his parents, but he certainly will not be holding fast to you.

Conclusion

I don’t know where you and your husband are with your faith journey in knowing Jesus, but I promise that knowing Him and having Him as Lord over your marriage is the only sure foundation for succeeding in your oneness. That means that you are surrendering yourself to God’s ways and seeking His will as your husband is doing the same. This is where you start.

Oneness is the ultimate goal in marriage. It reflects the oneness between Christ and His church (Ephesians 5:30-32). Married people have so many obstacles through all seasons of life that test the oneness which would bring God glory. Our sinful natures, external pressures such as finances and the rearing of children, and cultural demands are all challenges that either will make our oneness stronger or tear us apart as a couple.

Pray that God will help you to love and forgive each other just as Christ has done. Aim to display the fruit of the Spirit to your husband every day. Ask for the power of the Holy Spirit to help you do what you cannot do. Put into your mind the words of God and let them soak deep into your heart. Keep yourself humble before God. Repent when you need to and seek His ways. Never stop praying.

Father, start with me. Make me into the suitable helper that you desire for me to be for my husband. Do your work in my husband’s heart and bring him close to You. Bless our marriage and oneness to the glory of Your Name. Show us Your ways and lift our burdens! In Jesus’ Name, Amen.