Redeemed Woman

Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.

Ephesians 5:17 (ESV)

God, in His infinite wisdom, ordained the marriage relationship between man and woman to be the most intimate relationship human beings can experience in life (Genesis 2:25). In what other relationship do we have two individuals becoming one flesh (Genesis 2:24-25; Ephesians 5:31)? The Bible teaches that our sexual desires are rightly fulfilled in marriage (Exodus 20:14; 1 Corinthians 7:9; Hebrews 13:4). Also, through marriage, families are established (Genesis 1:28; Genesis 4:1). For the Christian, marriage has a purpose far beyond physical or personal satisfaction and procreation. Marriage glorifies God (Ephesians 5:32). Through marriage, the beauty of the Gospel is displayed (Ephesians 5:22-32).

I want to share with you my meditations on Ephesians 5. I’ve been pondering these verses for a long time and believe that God’s wisdom here can help single Christian women prevent many hardships and tears. To my single Christian sisters who love the Lord Jesus, are faithful to Him, and seriously praying for a husband, I hope you find clarity in the Word of God thru this season of seeking and waiting on the LORD for your life partner.

husband potential criteria #1: a man you are willing to submit to

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord…For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church…wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Ephesians 5:22-24 (ESV)

The Word of God states that the husband is the head of the wife. Simply this means that your husband will be your leader, and the leader for your future children. What wisdom is given here to you? Marry a man who will lead you physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Be aware that you are to follow in everything after your husband’s leading. Therefore, this man needs to have a good head on his shoulders with direction in his own life. A husband who is aimlessly dragging thru life will drag you down with him, guaranteed. So, unless you want to haul around dead weight for the rest of your life, steer clear from marrying a man who lacks direction and drive in life.

God is giving you a heads-up here, sister. As a Christian woman, you are to submit yourself to your own husband as you are to the Lord. In other words, your submission to your own husband is a reflection of your submission to the LORD (see my previous post on submission). If you are unable to submit heart and mind to a man because he is sub-par or because of his lifestyle or because of his culture, move on to a more suitable option. But, if submission is a problem for you in general no matter who the man is, then you need to have a heart-to-heart with God before marrying (Ephesians 5:21-22) cause marriage with two heads is a recipe for struggle and, most importantly, does not glorify God.

husband potential criteria #2: a man who has the love of jesus

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her…

Ephesians 5:25 (ESV)

Just as a wife’s willing submission to her husband reflects her relationship with God, the husband’s love for his wife reflects his relationship with God. If you desire a man who will selflessly love you like Jesus loved and died for His Church, then he must be a follower of Jesus. Don’t settle down for someone who just knows about Jesus or goes to church nominally. It is a beautiful thing when your husband fleshes out the Gospel of Jesus in your marriage because he himself has experienced that love. There is nothing greater in this physical life than to have a husband who loves you like Jesus loves you.

I need to be blunt here. Dating and marriage are not God-ordained methods for you to become a missionary. If you love Jesus and are a follower of Jesus, heed God’s warning that you should not be unequally yoked to an unbelieving man (2 Corinthians 6:14). If you value your relationship with Jesus, then your potential husband’s relationship with Jesus will be of primary significance to you.

Conclusion

Marriage is a blessing, but it is hard work. You have the opportunity even now to build on a firm foundation; Christian sister, that is the Word of God. It starts now with you praying, waiting, and looking. Do not be weary or discouraged. Surround yourself with sound-minded Christian women who will talk sense into you, who will give you a Biblical assessment on “husband potential” on a love interest and encourage you when you have lost all hope. Infatuations always hinder good judgment. Good looks and charm can seriously fool you. Do not overlook the advice of your parents or those who love you (Proverbs 6:20-23; Proverbs 12:15; Proverbs 19:20). I am not saying that you should only marry a perfect man; there is no such thing. I am saying that marriage is far too important an issue to not have clear, Biblical standards and to not gather the counsel of others.

How do you know he is the right one? Because God approves (through His Word as we already discussed above), and you both want each other. Yes, it’s that simple. If you have no one at this time, keep praying and seeking. Perhaps the LORD is working in both your lives to get you ready for each other. I believe God has His godly men out there who are also praying, waiting, and looking for their wives.

Finally, know that you are loved by God (Romans 5:3-5). Whatever your past, rest in Jesus and glorify God now in this season of singleness. He is with you; you are not alone. This season is for your good and His good purpose (Romans 8:28). As a Christian, keep your eyes on Jesus and rid yourselves of the idols in your heart (anything you desire more than God Himself). Married or not, this is the will of God (read Ephesians 5:1-16; 1 Thessalonians 4:3).

Our Father and God, I pray for all the single ladies who love You. May Your Holy Spirit strengthen them in this season of waiting. Bless them with husbands who love You. We pray for men who will stand up to lead and love in the likeness of Jesus Christ. May my sisters not grow weary in this season. As in every season of life, may we find our greatest satisfaction in You, LORD. Open our eyes to Your ways and lift our burdens!