Redeemed Woman

For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

1 Peter 3:5-6 (ESV)

Growing up in a very patriarchal culture, my mind was scarred with the culture’s negative connotations of submission as a sign of weakness and mindless subservience. Conveniently enough, the American feminist culture empowered my own fight to some how free myself from all male superiority, cultural restrictions on women, and second-class gender roles. This was what the world taught me and so how I perceived the battle of the sexes. Even as a young Christian woman, my former feminist ideologies crippled my understanding of God’s Truth and waged a war inside of me resisting the clear command of God for the wife’s submission to her husband.

I had all sorts of excuses to justify my non-submissive heart: my husband’s sins, my husband’s failures, and, of course, my distorted claim to near “perfection”. The reality, however, is that our husbands are sinners, just as we ourselves are sinners, prone to selfishness, foolishness, and sin. We need Jesus desperately to restore God’s design in our marriages, which requires the wife’s submission to her husband (Ephesians 5:22-24; Colossians 3:18; Titus 2:3-5) in the Lord (Acts 4:18-20; Acts 5:9; Acts 5:28-29). This is significant enough as a witness to the Gospel that 1 Peter 3:1-6 would instruct a believing wife to submit even to a husband who does not obey God’s Word.

How is this possible for us, especially for wives whose husbands do not obey God’s Word by doing their marital part (Ephesians 5:25-31; Colossians 3:19; 1 Peter 3:7)? Well, it is going to take faith, a lot of it. Faith not in yourself, faith not in your husband, but faith in God. As our Creator and Savior, this is His way so we have to trust that He knows what He is doing (1 Corinthians 11:10; Ephesians 5:22-24; Colossians 3:18; Titus 2:3-5; 1 Peter 3:1-6).

The Apostle Peter gave us Sarah, Abraham’s wife, as the example of faith and submission. Unlike the woman found in Proverbs 31, Sarah was a real woman in history who lived a real life with all its marital joys and hardships. We all know her story of infertility, but let us review other less known parts of her story to fully understand why Peter named her the mother of faithful, godly wives (1 Peter 3:6).

She hoped in God, not in her husband (1 Peter 3:5). Sarah picked up her home, left family and friends, and journeyed with Abraham to a land they did not know because God had instructed her husband to leave (Genesis 12:1-9). She obeyed her husband not because he came up with a fail-safe, strategic plan for the move, but because she believed and put her hope in God.

She trusted in God and was not afraid of anything that was frightening (1 Peter 3:6). Not once, but twice Sarah had to lie about being Abraham’s wife because he was scared for his life despite God’s promise to bless him (Genesis 12:1-9; Genesis 12:10-20; Genesis 20:1-13). She risked her own life in obedience to her husband’s requests. Both times she was taken away from Abraham. Both times she could have been raped, but she trusted in God. God protected her, no thanks to her husband.

She obeyed Abraham, giving evidence for her devotion to God (1 Peter 3:3-5). According to this passage, holy women, such as Sarah, who submitted to their own husbands were doing a good work (1 Peter 3:6). The “imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit” is “very precious“ in God’s sight (1Peter 3:4). Peter’s point: the wife’s inner devotion and obedience to God is manifested for all to see through her submission to her own husband. This is how she adorns herself.

Conclusion:

It has taken years of God’s work through His Word in my own mind and heart to understand the goodness of God’s instruction for me to submit to my own husband in the Lord. I have come to realize that, contrary to what the world teaches, it takes a strong woman of faith to willingly submit herself to her own husband; not a weak one.

The Gospel of Jesus restores the correct perspective and execution of gender roles. It is no longer my ways versus his ways, but God’s ways over our ways. And though we wives submit to our husbands, we know the One who really is in control and running the show. And in Him, we can trust and rest fully. Now that is faith in the works (James 2:26)!

May the Lord increase our faith in Him for obedience! Sisters, there is always hope for our marriages in Jesus. Jesus can fix our broken souls; He can surely fix our broken marriages. May the Lord open our eyes to His ways for our lives and lift our burdens!