The Secret of the Proverbs 31 Woman’s Heart

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her works praise her in the gates.
Proverbs 31:30-31

When I first really took the time to read Proverbs 31:10-31, I had this overwhelming sense of burden. I mean, here was a woman with a to-do list a mile long and she was able to complete them all day every day with a smile on her face. This Proverbs 31 woman was so perfect, and I fell so short of this Biblical standard. But, as I meditated on and prayed this passage, there was one phrase that gave me much clarity and lifted that burden right off my shoulders.

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
Proverbs 31:30

God’s Word clearly says here that after all is said and done, it is the woman who fears the LORD that is to be praised. The woman who fears the LORD is the one whose deeds become fruitful and her works will bring her praise. Unlike a woman who displays charm on the outside, the woman who fears the LORD is excellent from the inside out. Unlike a beautiful woman whose beauty will fade away, the woman who fears the LORD has an inner beauty that never fades away. Charm and beauty can be faked, but a woman who fears the LORD cannot be faked. While other women may do excellent things, it is the woman who fears the LORD that surpasses them all (Proverbs 31:29). So…there was only this one thing that I needed to concern myself with that will put EVERYTHING in its proper place. If I lived in the fear of the LORD, I will know what good deeds to do and understand what decisions to make. This was her secret.

After much studying and meditating, I have concluded that to fear the LORD means:

I will humbly seek for understanding, knowledge and wisdom from God. I will not turn to the world. I will not turn to myself. (Matthew 6:22-23; Romans 12:2; James 1:5-8; James 3:13-18) Now I do not mean that we should not seek the advice of other women. Just make sure we are seeking the advice from women who also fear the LORD.

Proverbs 1:7, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction.”

Proverbs 9:10, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.”

Proverbs 15:33, “The fear of the Lord is instruction in wisdom, and humility comes before honor.”

Proverbs 28:14, “Blessed is the one who fears the Lord always, but whoever hardens his heart will fall into calamity.”

2. I will live to please the LORD, not myself or others. I must persevere and press on in the LORD, doing what His Word has instructed, even when things get difficult or are not how I expected them to be. Why? Because He has promised that my obedience will result in fruit and praise and that His ways lead to life. His ways are good and just and righteous. I must learn to trust Him.

Proverbs 3:5-9, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.”

Proverbs 14:26-27, “In the fear of the Lord one has strong confidence, and his children will have a refuge.The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life, that one may turn away from the snares of death.”

Proverbs 19:23, “The fear of the Lord leads to life, and whoever has it rests satisfied; he will not be visited by harm.”

3. I will say “no” to sin. The fear of the LORD will teach my heart to hate sinful ways. And for when I do sin, I have an advocate, the Blessed Savior, who is faithful and just to forgive me of my sins when I am broken over my sins and confess them (1 John 1:9).

Proverbs 8:13, “The fear of the Lord is hatred of evil. Pride and arrogance and the way of evil and perverted speech I hate.”

Proverbs 16:6, “By steadfast love and faithfulness iniquity is atoned for, and by the fear of the Lord one turns away from evil.”

Pray with me that the Lord will give us the fear of the Lord, sisters! That we will learn to endure the hardships of life and press on with good deeds in our marriages and families and in our communities all in the fear of the LORD. May the Lord open our eyes to His ways and lift our burdens. Blessings all!

The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down. Whoever walks in uprightness fears the Lord, but he who is devious in his ways despises Him.
Proverbs 14:1-2

One response to “The Secret of the Proverbs 31 Woman’s Heart”

Panh Nha Song

February 11, 2021 at 2:31 am

Thank you so much for clarifying this for me!! I was really frustrated with this Proverbs 31 woman. How can she not sleep?! My health conditions can no longer handle that lol. Someone made a point to me that she’s not even a real woman in bible times. Ohhh, what makes us think we can attain this perfection? Anyway, at first I was trying really hard to meet these standards, of course only to fail and then realized it was almost as though I was idolizing this woman. I thought, wait can that be possible to idolize her and can it be wrong? But how, when I’m only trying to obey God. Anyway, yes the biggest take away like you said is to fear the Lord (which is also in many other areas of the bible). Once I have that understanding, it really does take off the pressure and also makes my actions seem more natural, relaxed and genuine with God. I am so happy that God knows my heart. Thanks again!

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